


Christmas Sweeties

by AwatereJones



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: Sitting here in my pacific paradise I can only feel for those of you on lockdowns in this horrible year... so here is a full story - all 10 chaps at once so you can have at least one day of indulging. Ianto and Jack are preparing for Christmas but Ianto has his parents who disowned him knocking at the door seeking forgiveness ... and to see the twin girls. SMUT for you too xxx
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

"Do you think it will ever stop snowing?" Jack said, peering out our kitchen window. His breath steamed over the glass, adding to the wintery effect.

I slid my arm around Jack's muscled waist and leaned over to look out the window with him. "I'm just glad it finally looks like the holidays. I want our first Christmas in this house together to be perfect."

Even though Jack had been here for months, I wasn't over the novelty of living with him. Before he walked into my examining room with a puppy, I thought I'd never know real love.

But here he was. In my kitchen. In _our_ kitchen. In living color. Sharing the view in the window. Sharing my bed. Sharing my life.

This was going to be our first Christmas together in a very long time.

"We're still on schedule with the checklist, right?" Jack wanted to know. He turned and furrowed his brow, thinking.

I laughed, a happy bubble rising in my chest. As if he didn't know that we were on schedule. Jack always stayed on top of everything. Even something as light-hearted as Christmas organization did not escape Jack's military efficiency.

Just then a familiar presence trotted up behind us, nudged Jack's leg, and dropped a ball on my foot.

"Hey there Jellybean," I laughed, reaching down to pet the smiling golden retriever's silky head. "I think you meant to drop that on Jack."

"He misses his girls," Jack said. "He's getting a head start on his end-of-week stir craziness."

"Do you miss the girls?" I asked Jellybean, running my hand back around behind his ear and scratching him where I knew he liked it. Jellybean looked into my eyes with an earnest brown gaze and thumped his tail.

"I see animals all day, and yet I can't resist you," I said. "Why is that?"

Jellybean leaned down, picked the ball back up in his mouth, and wagged his tail. I'd seen him carry two balls at a time. Sometimes the girls got him to carry three at once. Silly dog. He loved carrying things around in his mouth. If we didn't provide him with things, he would have just found random things in the house to gently carry around and move back and forth.

Jellybean loved snuggling up with our black cat Janet, especially now that it was colder. If Janet wasn't snoozing with Jellybean, she was usually out of sight, especially if someone was over at our house, or there was commotion going on. Which, with two twin girls, was most of the time. Every black cat I'd ever had was shy like that, which just added to their allure and mystery in my opinion.

Thank goodness Jellybean was gentle. Retrievers were bred to retrieve game birds shot by hunters. Their mouths are so careful they won't break a feather. These are the dogs that will adopt kittens or carry baby birds to safety.

Obviously Jellybean's a terrible guard dog. But we didn't need one. We had Jack.

So, Jellybean could definitely handle a ball. Or three. Or one of the dozens of stuffed animals he keeps in the basket by his bed. You should see him sit by the dryer waiting for them to come out after a wash cycle. If you opened the door for him, he would pull them out one at a time.

Then he'd carry them to his bed or his toy basket. If only the girls were so dedicated to putting their things away.

Jellybean dropped the ball on my foot again and then sat back expectantly.

"I thought fetch was a game that the human initiated and the dog obeyed, not the other way around," I grumbled good-naturedly.

Jack laughed, watching Jellybean thump his tail and look into my eyes, waiting for me to make the next move. "He wants to play. I mean, like you've said, he's still got a lot of puppy in him."

I leaned over and picked up the ball before Jellybean could beat me to it. "Oh all right," I said, as if I was so put out. Really, I loved these moments with this dog.

Jellybean jumped to his feet, barked, and wagged his tail wildly. His voice was a funny middle range between squeaky puppy and grown adult dog.

I threw the ball down the bedroom hallway and Jellybean bounded after it.

"Now you've done it," Jack chuckled.

"One more day until the girls come from their mom's house," I said. "Then they can chase Jellybean around all he wants."

Jenny and Eve were my twin daughters from a marriage I'd attempted after Jack left. Lisa and I were good friends who shared too much wine, too much loneliness, and too much company. It sort of worked to distract me from my heartbreak, but then she got pregnant. She was one of my best friends, and we wanted to do right by the babies, so we gave marriage a go.

It didn't take long for both of us to decide we were better as friends and child-rearing partners than as spouses.

After the divorce, everything in our relationship slowly worked its way back to the same amicable easy friendship it was before. I know too well this is not usually how these things went.

In fact, when Jack showed up in the vet clinic with Jellybean last year, it was Lisa who encouraged me to get real with my feelings and to get on with my life. I know she was just as annoyed as everyone else, if not more annoyed, that it took me so long to grow up and figure out my life. What can I say? I'm a slow learner. I couldn't have asked for a better ex-wife. So I have an asshole father and an awesome ex-wife. You can't have everything.

Lisa worked long hours at the coffee shop she was taking over from her dad, and I worked as a vet in the next town, so we shared the parenting responsibilities as much as we could. I picked this house both for its adorableness and because it was close to the girls. The girls had bedrooms at both houses, so we tried to make it as easy as possible for them to transition back and forth.

Tonight they were with their mom. I knew I would get them tomorrow, so I was okay with that. But I'm not sure Jellybean was. He could handle the girls being gone for one night, or even two. But when the time rounded onto a third night, his stir crazy kicked in.

Jellybean loved the rambunctious and innocent energy of the girls. I think maybe kids need dogs and dogs need kids.

That being said, Jellybean was Jack's dog through and through. He went everywhere with him. From the time Jack found him in his kitchen stealing his breakfast right off the table, he'd applied his methodical and gentle structured ways to dog training and it worked. He had him behaving like a champ. Everyone loved Jellybean. He was good, friendly, and always had a big smile on his doggy face.

I couldn't blame the loyal golden retriever for loving Jack.

I understood the sentiment. Jack had a large quiet presence about him. His burly shoulders, broad chest and strong arms filled any room he inhabited.

Somehow his quiet ways made his impact even more pronounced.

When the girls weren't there for him to keep track of, Jellybean followed Jack everywhere. I would do the same, but I tried to at least be dignified about it. I sighed, admiring the rippling muscles of my boyfriend, wondering how I got to be so lucky.

"It's getting dark," Jack observed. "Let's see how the lights look in the weather." He crossed into the living room, and flipped a light switch near the front door. The windows and trees lit up in twinkling lights, turning our wintery yard into a dazzling wonderland.

"It's even more beautiful in the snow!" I gasped, following him into the living room and gazing out the multi-paned front window.

Jack grinned at me. "Aren't you glad I made sure we hung the lights while it was still warm?" His eye twinkled as he teased me.

Of course I wanted to hang Christmas lights. I just would have rather done anything else on the last warm Saturday of the year. But Jack was right, as usual. So we buckled down and got them done, and now we reaped the reward.

As I stood in the window, Jack came behind me and wrapped his enormous arms around me. I'm not a short guy, and I'm not a tiny guy. I'm like a normal-sized guy — a few inches over six feet tall with my weight somewhere between slim and muscular, depending on what Jack had us doing. Sometimes I was more cooperative than others when it came to braving the garage and working the weights with him. He, however, was always dedicated.

I snuggled back into my rugged wall of a boyfriend. He leaned down and kissed my neck and held me in his arms.

"It's just a few weeks until Christmas," he said. "You know I support whatever you decide. But are you sure about your Christmas Eve party guest list?"

I stiffened and felt my breathing quicken. I knew what he was getting at. Why Jack was so…charitable about this more than me I didn't understand. "Why would you even want them here?" I said. "They weren't exactly kind toward you either."

Jack gathered me tighter to him. The caging of his arms helped me feel safe for this conversation. This was good because I needed all the safety I could get. He squeezed me again and then leaned his cheek on the side of my head.

"My old man was an ass. No two ways about it," he said. He paused, not finished with his sentence, and I waited while he gathered his thoughts.

The snow fell down outside like perfectly spaced white fluffy feathers. It was so weird how snow made everything so quiet. Finally he continued. "But he's gone now and I know you don't want to hear this. But someday your dad will be gone too. I'm just making sure you know that if you want to invite your parents for Christmas Eve, I am down for that."

A laugh coughed out of me, like an uncontrolled reflex I couldn't stop. "Maybe I want to have a nice Christmas with the man I love and the family who loves me. I've been dealing with his bullshit for so many years, I would like, for once, to have a truly happy holiday." I breathed in as deeply as I could, and then slowly released the air, calming myself in the exercise.

Jack squeezed me tight. "That's fair. I just don't want you to not have them here on my account. I've stared down far scarier than your father." A chuckle tinted his last words, and I smiled despite myself.

Amusement bubbled up in me, and I leaned my head further over onto Jack's big warm chest. "I'm sure that's true. But what if we had a Christmas without any extended family traditions that we would rather do without? I could do without the Backhanded Compliments of Inadequacy, or the Carol of the Guilt Trip, or even the Gift of Unreasonable Expectations."

Jack laughed and snuggled me closer. "Did you know you are even funnier when you are ranting?"

"This is ranting?" I said with my most innocent voice. "I'm just making sure Santa knows that I don't want a stocking full of Life Path Based on Someone Else's Plans."

"But can we dance around the house like you told me the Swedes do?" Jack nuzzled my neck, clearly amused at my declarations aimed at no one in the room. "You made that sound like so much fun, and I would love to continue the tradition with your family."

"Yes," I said. "We can do that. As long as you make sure to tell Santa what I just said."

Jack ran his hands up and down my arms and then slid them under my shirt until he found bare skin. I shivered in response to his hot and calloused touch, and groaned as he pressed himself against me.

"Don't worry. I know what you want for Christmas," he growled in my ear.

"Mmm," I agreed. This was definitely on my _Yes Please_ list. But I wondered if Jack knew what else I wanted.

However, even if he asked I wasn't telling.

Not yet, anyway.


	2. knock knock

Jack pulled me away from the window, turned me around, and kissed me like he's just been given the go-ahead by a mistletoe ball. I loved kissing Jack. I wrapped my arms around his muscled neck and he pulled my body closer as he twined his tongue around mine. A familiar fire surged through me, and I pressed my growing erection against his.

Jack ground his hips in circles against mine and still holding me close walked me backwards into the living room. He kissed me fervently, cradling my head in his giant hand. He tipped my head back to expose my neck and kissed and grazed my skin with his teeth. He stopped for a moment, his lips just touching my neck. "I can feel your pulse," he murmured. "It's fast."

He sounded pleased with himself.

I paused, holding perfectly still, like a live deer held by a lion, waiting for him to make his next move. This game, this push and pull, this dynamic between us only got hotter over time. My heart pounded and I struggled to hold still as my cock strained against the seams of my jeans.

He held his position, taking my pulse with his lips for another moment, and then slid one of his hands down my stomach and cupped my groin in his hand. I panted as he stroked me through my jeans.

"Mmm, such a delicious cock," he said in my ear, as if his own enormous rod wasn't pressing with steely hardness down my hip and thigh.

He continued stroking me, and despite trying to keep my reaction to myself, I whimpered.

"Are you ready for me?" he whispered in my ear, knowing full well what the answer was.

I closed my eyes and waves of anticipated pleasure washed over me. It was like I could feel the orgasm to come, just by imagining it.

"I will be," I said. I felt my cock surge and twitch, and knew I was leaking onto my boxers. I ground myself into his hand, and against his own trapped cock.

He walked backwards and pulled me with him until he was sitting on the couch. I stood in front of him, my cock jutting out an awkward bulge in my jeans. Jack looked me over with admiration and hunger in his eyes, and then

reached behind his neck and with one motion removed his shirt.

My eyes widened. I never got tired of the sight of Jack without clothes. He was stacked, built, and strong. He didn't just work out. He built furniture and lifted heavy things. He was the ornamental _and_ useful kind of buff. And speaking of ornamental, his beautiful tribal tattoos just added to his burly manly appearance.

I bit my lower lip, my eyes roving all over his body.

Jack smiled at me, noticing my looking.

"Strip for me, baby," he said. He leaned back on the couch and slowly unbuckled his belt, never taking his eyes off me.

I glanced at the fireplace, glad that Jack had built a roaring fire earlier. The room was toasty warm. Perfect to get naked. My eyes locked onto Jack's. I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it on a chair.

Jack unbuttoned his pants and I stopped moving, mesmerized. He slid the zipper all the way down, and manipulated the top of his pants to extricate and untangle his cock from his clothing. I felt him looking at me, and let my eyes move back to his gaze. He smiled at me and slid his pants off his hips. His erection stood at full attention, and I marvelled at his size and girth. Even though we did this all the time, I sometimes still wondered how all of that was going to fit inside me.

But it did.

My heart pounded, and I suddenly wanted him. Right then. I unfastened my pants and removed them as fast as I could until I stood in front of him, bare naked. My cock ached. I took it in my hand and squeezed. Jack watched me, and then wordlessly motioned for me to come closer.

I straddled him, our cocks touching, my ass spread due to the width of his corded thighs between my legs. Jack kissed me and I gripped both our lengths together. It took both my hands to get all the way around them, and I slowly slid myself up and down against him.

Jack reached into a crack in the couch cushion and retrieved the lube we'd left there the night before.

"Sorry, I was going to put that away, but I forgot," I said between kisses.

Jack chuckled. "It's okay. I knew it was here. I decided to leave it, so we could use it tonight."

Of course he did. I didn't mind, because then he popped open the plastic lid. The sound punctuated the quiet winter night, and stood out against the crackle of the fireplace. By now, I had some kind of Pavlovian response to the sound, and my heart sped up.

Then he rubbed his big calloused fingers between my ass cheeks, the lube still a little cool. It felt good. So good. I pressed myself toward his touch and he chuckled as he stroked and massaged me. I gripped our cocks harder and rocked my hips back and forth. He slid one large blunt finger inside me and I groaned. It felt so good.

"Jack!" I gasped.

"Mmm," he said. He upped his ministrations, both in speed and intensity until I was practically trying to fuck myself on his finger. Before I could get too far, he removed his finger from me, and refilled his hand with lube. I felt the loss and emptiness immediately and whined, wanting him back, but also excited knowing what was next.

Half the delight of sex is the sweet torment of the wanting, the pleasure of the anticipation. But I was getting past that point, and I could tell Jack was too. He slid his hand over mine and took possession of his, and stroked himself in lube.

I knew what to do. I was so turned on, I worried I would come all over Jack without doing another thing. I gripped his shoulders with my hands and positioned myself over him. Jack slid his cock head against my hole over and over, sending shockwaves of pleasure through me.

Finally I could take it no more, and impaled myself on his rock hard girth. I saw stars from the pain and pleasure, and then as my body adjusted, I pressed down further, sliding up and then pushing myself down as far as I could. Jack's green eyes looked so dark in this light, and he held me in his soft gaze. He leaned his head back and allowed me to fuck myself onto him without any resistance or interference, smiling and gasping as I progressed.

Finally, I was completely filled. It felt impossible, against the laws of physics. Jack pressed against me from all sides, filling me up, my tight channel stretched to the limit and gripping him in the ultimate embrace. Once seated, I wiggled my hips a little, enjoying the feeling of his balls on my ass, and my cock base right up against his body.

Jack groaned at my movement, and then pressed his hips up toward me.

"Fuck me," he whispered. He gripped my cock in his lube covered hand and stroked me mercilessly, sliding around and over the top in a swirling up and down motion. All my muscles tightened at the pleasure and he momentarily closed his eyes in reaction to the tight pressure that applied to his buried cock.

I remembered to relax and then joined in his rhythm, slowly sliding myself up and down his hot throbbing cock. Every time he dragged over a certain place inside me, a crash of pleasure ran through me.

These months together meant every time we had sex we knew each others' bodies even better. First time sex is exciting, sure, but couple sex? That's where the real heat is. In perfect sync, we fucked, our speed rising faster and faster. There was nothing else in this world except me and Jack. I loved him so much, and I felt his love for me, as our bodies joined and pushed higher and higher to an ultimate shared ecstasy.

Right on the edge, I squeezed my eyes closed and keened. Jack doubled his efforts and held me up a little so he could get some leverage and fuck me from underneath. I rode the waves, feeling his hand sliding up and down my cock, pistoned from underneath by his merciless cock. I held myself there, right on the edge, until Jack groaned and I felt him thicken and jump deep inside me. Just knowing he was coming, just feeling his pleasure, made the floor fall out from under me and my own release exploded in a rush of blinding heat. At the same time he gripped me tighter and shoved himself harder, faster, his cock releasing hot and wet inside me.

Relentless, Jack did not let go and instead milked me for every last bit of my orgasm, and I helplessly let him.

Finally spent, I sagged forward and he held me close in his protective arms. He smelled like clean sweat, manly musk and soap. And sex. We both smelled like sex.

Jack stroked me all over, touching me as if making sure I was all there, and then pulled me in for a sweet kiss.

Then he pressed his forehead against mine and said in his deep and soft voice, "I love you, Ianto."

I sighed and leaned into his ministrations. My unfocused gaze wandered to the fire lower but still crackling in the fireplace. The wood had turned black and grooved, glowing from the inside with the light of the fire inside. A piece split off one of the larger logs and fell onto the grate.

"It's still snowing," Jack said, and reached across the couch to pull the big soft blanket around my back and wrap me closer to him.

We stayed like that for a while, as the daylight further waned. It was almost dark when we gathered our clothes and made our way upstairs to our bedroom to get dressed and think about dinner.

Still basking in the glow of our lovemaking, I noticed in the mirror that my cheeks still held a high flush to them.

Jack walked past me and smiled, patting my ass as he went by. He too had a rosy glow.

As I came down from the single-minded bliss we'd created, I hoped Jack had forgotten about what he'd said about our Christmas Eve guest list. I needed a Christmas without my overbearing father looming over my life.

Enjoying the winter weather, I layered a soft hoodie over my clothes to spend the rest of my December evening with Jack. I could smell food cooking in the kitchen, and smiled at my luck of being with such a domestic stud.

Before I could get all the way down the stairs, the doorbell rang. It was probably a neighbour bringing a gift.

Jack and I had made English toffee and wrapped it up in cute packages with red bows for our neighbour gifts. We all gave each other treats that we shouldn't eat. I'd save them for the Christmas Eve party and feed them to our guests and spare my waistline. Though something fresh baked sounded really great right now. Maybe Jack and I could have just a little dessert after dinner… I daydreamed about holiday cookies as I floated down the rest of the stairs and with a smile on my face opened my front door, Jellybean hot on my heels to see who was there.

My anticipation faded into shock. My parents stood on my porch, huddled under an umbrella in winter gear, with worry and fear in their eyes.

Jack came up behind me and stopped short when he saw my parents. He put his hand on my back, in a protective gesture, and stood with me.

"Mom?" I said, my heart thudding with worry as I looked back and forth between them. "What's going on? Is everyone okay?"


	3. nervous politeness

"Everyone is okay," my mum said. She stood with her arms folded to ward off the cold, and stamped her white boots to shake off the snow. She wore a white down coat, a white hat, and white mittens to match her boots. Even in my annoyance and shock, I admired how stylish my mother was.

I glared at my father, annoyed that they worried me and disturbed my evening. "Then why are you here? You made yourself pretty clear the last time we spoke. And as I recall, so did I."

My mother's lip trembled and she looked to my father. A long awkward moment passed between us while he looked like he was trying to figure out what to say.

Enough of this. This decision had already been made.

"All right then," I said. "I don't want to be rude, but we're letting all the heat out of the house."

I started to close the front door. I had to gently push Jellybean back with my foot to do it. He always thought everyone who came was there to see him. To be fair, he wasn't usually wrong.

"Son, is there any way we could come in," my father said before I could shut them out. "I would really like to talk to you."

" _We_ would really like to talk to you," my mother added, pleading in her eyes. She rubbed her mittens together. I knew her. This was a nervous gesture more than a heat generating one.

Jack put his arm around me, and I felt my body shake, despite my best attempts to stop it. My autonomic nervous system was reacting to the stress of their appearance. So many years of emotions and anger and regret and conditional love had passed. These were still my parents. But that is precisely why all of that still hurt so much. Because they were my parents and hurt me anyway.

"That depends," Jack said from behind me, his deep voice soothing my nerves. He squeezed me with his arm. "Are you here to cause your son more emotional grief? Because I'm afraid I can't allow that."

Even mired in my defensive reaction, I noticed my father blanch at Jack's words.

"That is the last thing we want," my mother said.

Jack gave them a wary look and gave them a curt nod.

He kept his arm around me and guided me back from the door, giving my parents space to come in. When they crossed my threshold, I felt like some kind of milestone passed. I just didn't know if it was a good or bad one. So much for my peaceful Christmas.

My mom looked around, admiring our house. "This is lovely," she said. "Just beautiful."

My father looked around too but I think had the sense to not say anything about it. He needed to explain his presence, not engage in small talk.

"Thank you," I said, my voice flat, like a child being forced to say the magic words to an unwanted guest. Which, let's face it, is exactly what they were.

Jack sat down by me on the couch, and my parents sat in the arm chairs facing us. Jellybean followed us into the room, and stood next to my mother, wagging his tail. My dad removed his hat when he came through the door and now held it in his hands. My mom twisted hers, wrapping her hands in the plush cabled knitting as she fidgeted. She looked down at Jellybean and back up at me, and then reached down and stroked his silky fur. He laid down by her side and looked up at all of us like he was supposed to be the centre of attention. I didn't know if our dog was an ambassador or a traitor.

"I came to extend an olive branch," my father said.

I blinked, trying to understand what he was saying. I mean, I knew what that meant, but I couldn't compute how that translated to our current situation or what he intended to do. I stared at him and waited for him to say more.

My father studied my face, and then continued. "I was wrong. So wrong. I know a lot of water has passed under the bridge, and I don't know how I can, but I want to make this right."

I pressed my lips together and inhaled deeply. I looked at my mother, who wiped a tear from her eye. A million emotions filled me and I sat up straight.

"Wrong about what?" I said, frowning at my father. I needed to hear him say it — all of it.

He blinked at me and rotated his hat in his hands as he spoke. "I suppose it wouldn't do to just say, I was wrong about everything. But I was. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry I interfered in your personal life. I'm sorry I held the business over your head."

I sat still. Everything inside me felt like I was made of stone. They both looked at me like they expected me to say something, but I had nothing. I didn't know what I wanted, but whatever this was — it was not enough.

"I realize it is going to take more than one apology to fix this," my father said. He sat back, and sighed. In that moment I realized how old he looked. I hadn't seen my parents in months and they both looked so much older.

My mom reached over and took his hand, and I noticed how wrinkled both of their hands were. These were my parents' hands? They were such towering figures in my life. As a child, your parents are tall, strong, invincible, and they held all the power.

Now looking at my parents I realized something that hit me like a revelation. _They were getting old._ Something in my heart softened, but only a little bit. Even old people can make someone's life horrible. It's not like once you hit seventy you magically turn into a good person.

I looked at my mother. She never directly did anything against me, but she didn't help me either. She didn't stick up for me, that I knew of. There was no evidence that she ever had. She looked really distressed though. I felt Jack's solid warmth beside me and thought about how I would back Jack up no matter what.

But Jack wouldn't do something like my dad did. I would never have to worry about standing by my man when he was wrong. Not like this.

Still, I wanted to hear what my mother had to say.

"Mum?" I said, my eyes telling her everything. She met my gaze and I could tell she felt my reproach. "Why didn't you ever help me?"

"I should have stood up for you more," she said, her voice cracking. "I didn't know. It was a different time, and I didn't know any better. But you are my son and I should have known anyway." She burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry, Ianto. I failed you."

As if sensing the mood in the room, Jellybean backed away from my mother, who'd stopped petting him, and laid down on the floor beside me.

My eyes flicked to my father, and he looked like he was going to be sick. I'd never seen him apologize like this in my life. But could I believe it? A dark thought occurred to me.

"You're not dying or something are you?" I said to my dad, my voice pointed. The possibility made me feel a jumble of anger, grief, and frustration all at once.

Despite himself, my father laughed, just a brief grim chuckle. He shook his head. "No. I'm glad I at least had the sense to try to do this before something like that happened." He looked up at me and said, "But in a way I am, because I'm not getting any younger and a life without being in my son's life is not a life I want."

Another disturbing thought occurred to me.

"Wait a minute. Is this because you are trying to retire?" I narrowed my eyes at my father, taking the measure of his reaction.

He shook his head, his mouth turned down in a sad line. "No, son. I know I held inheriting the business over your head, assuming you would do what I wanted, but this isn't about that."

"So you don't want to retire?" I raised an eyebrow, and leaned back into Jack's support. "I mean we both know that isn't true."

My father sighed. "No, I do want to retire. But this isn't about the vet clinic." He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine back and forth as he gauged my response. "The truth is, you can have the clinic if you want."

I opened my mouth to retort, but before I could say anything he continued. He held up his hand as he spoke. "You can have the clinic if you want, same kind of deal we had talked about before — or not if you don't want. This isn't about that. I only keep working these days to stay out of your mother's hair."

My mum smiled a little in the corner of her mouth, though she tried really hard to control it. Even I had to allow myself some amusement at his admission. My dad drove my mother crazy when he was home all day every day.

"Okay. I don't even know how to reply to that. I have a good job, at another clinic," I said, confusion clouding my words. I'd become a vet, just like my dad, and he'd dangled taking over his practice over my head for years. Then he threatened to take it away if I didn't break things off with Jack. I picked Jack. It became a running joke between me and my friends: Did you know that when you get a degree it's good in more than one place? I got a job in another clinic in the next town, and though I miss Sarah, my friend and one of the vet techs, it's been great to have my personal life out of my professional life.

"We are going off track here," my mother said. "Forget about the clinic. We don't care about anything except having a relationship with you. And with our grandchildren."

Ah yes. The grandchildren. I ground my jaw while I thought. I guess Lisa really isn't letting them see the girls. I made a mental note to get her an extra awesome Christmas present.

"Is this actually just about the grandchildren?" I said. Sadness and pain flooded into my heart. Did my parents actually want to atone for the past or were they just trying to get past me to the girls?

My mother shook her head and wiped a tear away. She looked to the side and swallowed hard. Then she faced me, her eyes shining with tears. "This is about you, Ianto. You are my baby boy. You are our son. We want to mend this with you."

I spent so many years hardening my heart against my parents' invasions of my identity I found it hard to thaw out based on one conversation. I stared at them both for a long moment, and then managed to grind out, "It's nice to hear that you are sorry. But as you can see, I've built a nice life without your interference or support." I tried not to sneer the last word, but it was hard. "I'm sure you can imagine that it's hard for me to believe you or to allow the idea of letting you back in to hurt me more."

My mum looked up at me, stricken. Her mouth hung slightly open and I knew this was killing her. But all those years before were killing me. This was self preservation.

Jack squeezed his arm around me, offering support. My parents noticed his hug, and looked at us, back and forth, taking in the full measure of us, I suppose. Maybe they were wondering if they would ever see us again, or maybe they were realizing how much of a unit we were. It didn't matter what they thought.

I had no desire to explain my relationship with Jack to my parents. I had no desire to explain _anything_ to my parents. But I did need to tell them _something_ , so they would at least get out of my house and this awkward conversation could end.

So maybe they were wondering what I was going to say next. I didn't know either.

But it was my dad who spoke next. "I thought this might be your reaction. And I don't blame you." He glanced at my mother. "We don't blame you. But…"

"But," my mother interjected. "Please don't decide right now. Please think about it. Talk it over with Jack."

She paused and indicated him, smiling at him in a way only a mother grateful to someone for taking care of her child could. "Sleep on it."

"You are my son," my father said. "I know you, like me, feel that talk is cheap. I don't want to just tell you I'm sorry. I want to show you I'm sorry. I want to fix this."

My mind raced, thinking about the years of pain and the repercussions of the direction he forced me on the lives of so many people. "How on earth are you going to do that?" I said, my voice blunt and thick. "Fix this? How? Do you have a time machine?"

Jack squeezed my shoulder. "I think that's probably enough for tonight," he said. He stood up, pulling me up with him.

My parents both stood, bewildered by Jack's declaration, but obeying his command of the room. Jack walked toward the door and opened it. "Thank you for coming by. We will discuss this, and get back to you."

My parents gaped at me, marvelled at Jack, and filed out the front door. "Good night, and please watch your step," Jack said politely.

Relief filled me as Jack rescued me from my parents and this painful conversation. Jack closed the door and turned to me just as my knees buckled. He held out his arms and I ran into them.


	4. we need a plan

I felt a nudge and heard a whine. Jellybean sat against the couch and put his paw up on my leg, as if trying to console me. I learned over and hugged his furry neck, drying my wet eyes in his soft coat. I knew from experience with the girls, if I kept crying, the next thing he'd try would be to bring me his toys to cheer me up. He was a good dog.

After my parents left, I didn't have much to say for a while. We ate dinner in mostly silence, and I mulled over the events of the evening.

My emotions ran all over the place. Sad, angry, and sometimes hopeful. But that hope usually led to me feeling sad and angry again.

I was usually the talkative one, and Jack the silent type.

Our evening was definitely thrown off by all my brooding.

That night in bed, I cuddled up to Jack wearing my button up pyjamas. I'd gotten him several pairs too, but he usually opted to just wear the bottoms. This was fine with me. I could admire his big manly chest, and cuddle up to his warm skin. He put his arm around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"What should I do," I sighed.

Jack wasn't one to go on and on at length, usually, so I knew I wasn't going to get a lecture or anything. Thank god. He smoothed his hand over my hair and said, "What do you want? Like really want?"

I wilted realizing I was going to have to make this decision.

"Ugh," I complained.

Jack chuckled. "Just look inside yourself. What is the first reaction that comes to you?"

I frowned and leaned back. "I don't know. What do I want? My parents show up and wanted me to forgive them for — for ruining my life. Just like that? It makes me mad."

Jack sighed. "Yeah, I get it. But, another question to ask is — is your life ruined?"

Was it? Jack's solid warmth beside me and the perfection of our master bedroom said otherwise.

"Not anymore, but they made it a hell of a lot harder and messier to get here," I grumbled. Annoyance flared through me. "Why am I the one who has to change here? They pushed me to this place. And now I have to forgive them?"

"Remember, you don't have to do anything," Jack said. "Don't fall into the trap of doing what your parents want out of a sense of guilt or obligation."

I sat back, stunned. "Is there any other way though? I mean, I feel like I'm the one who has to change here, when they are the ones who did this."

"That's true," Jack said. "But maybe…" he trailed off, thinking.

"Maybe what?"

"It's like your dad said. Talk is cheap. So far this is talk, right?"

"Yeah, but what else would it be?" I felt trapped by the situation, and that made it hard for me to think clearly.

"What if your parents had to do something?" Jack said. "You feel like you have to do all the actions here — all the changing. Which isn't fair to you. What if instead, you required them to do something."

I frowned, puzzling this over. "Do something? Like get the broomstick from the wicked witch, or bring me seven rubies?"

Jack laughed. "Ah, Ianto."

He pulled me close and kissed me. His lips on mine momentarily made me forget my angst, and I revelled in the simple pleasure of kissing the man I love while cuddled in bed on a cold winter night.

When our kiss ended, Jack held my chin in his hand and looked into my eyes. "Think about it," he said.

"What is something you want that they have the ability to help you with?" He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to answer.

I thought for a moment, biting my lip in thought.

"I want to start the Torchwood animal shelter," I said, realization flooding through me. This dream of mine, newly invigorated when I saw how the clinic and shelter worked together in the next town, had been relegated to "someday" status because we didn't have to money, time and connections to make it happen right away. We'd estimated maybe being able to start in two or three years based on the calendar we projected.

"Who has money, time and connections?" Jack grinned, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Possibilities flooded through me. I could get my animal shelter going if I had their backing. But a dark thought thumped inside me. "But wait, how is that direct repentance for them? I want the shelter, but it's not enough. It's not related to what they are apologizing for. I want them to have to show that they have changed their attitudes, not just to me, but to the world."

Jack shrugged. "Think of it like you are passing a law and can add all kinds of amendments to it. What all do you want from them, while they are willing to give it to you?"

Energy surged through me as I thought about the situation my parents put me in. It felt like righteous indignation. "You know what I want? I don't just want some apology. I want them to do something big and public as a gesture to the LGBT community. Something that actually helps LGBT kids — specifically ones who have been ostracized by their families."

"Ohh, good idea," Jack said.

"They could set up a trust, and then create a safe house for LGBT kids who have been rejected by their families."

"Do they have that kind of money?" Jack scratched his head.

"Remember, they have money and they know lots and lots of people who have even more money. My mum knows how to do this, it's what she does all day besides shop and get her nails done. She does all kinds of charity work and is on all kinds of boards."

"That's true," Jack said. "I'm sure she does. It's a very ambitious request. I like it, I do. But these are no small projects."

"They will make it happen," I said, resolute in my decision. "If they want to be in my life, this is what it will take. Then I will know they mean it. It will be a lot of work. But they put me through a lot of work jumping through their hoops."

Jack laughed. "True. And this work will benefit a lot of kids _and animals_."

"Exactly." I sat back, feeling victorious and excited. A Torchwood Purple Door project and the animal shelter I wanted? This Christmas might turn out to be even better than I'd hoped.

I couldn't wait to tell my parents. Suddenly the idea of talking to them didn't make me feel powerless. I felt… invigorated. If they agreed, this could open a whole new door with them. They would learn about the problems of at-risk LGBT kids, and get involved at a level that would require them to talk their walk. And we could actually do some real good in this world. Together.


	5. what do you want for Christmas?

Ianto seemed so much happier after he decided what he needed from his parents in order to accept their apology. His father controlled him for years, and then tried to clamp down again when we got back together.

Ianto fell back into it, at first. Old patterns are hard to break, especially when you haven't had a catalyst for changing. But then he told his dad to shove it. I'm glad he did, and that he finally broke away. But I know that he's been hurting about the fact that he even had to do such a thing.

It's hard when the people who are supposed to love you are the ones who reject and hurt you. How does a kid become equipped to defend himself against that? He doesn't. Not until he's an adult, and in many cases, not until he's been an adult for a while.

I understand this. I wasn't able to really be myself until after my old man died, to be honest.

So with that all decided, Ianto called his parents and made a lunch date to meet them at the country club tomorrow.

In the meantime, there were two girls sitting at the kitchen bar swinging their legs and eating pancakes.

Jellybean sat under them, waiting for them to drop food.

"Jack!" Eve said, just before stuffing a syrup soaked piece of pancake into her mouth.

"Eve!" I said, grinning at her.

"Ask your question before you put food in your mouth," Ianto reminded her.

Eve managed to give him a guilty look, but didn't hold it for long. She grinned and chewed her pancake. With her mouth closed, thank goodness.

Her sister Jenny took advantage of the situation. "Are we going to decorate the tree today?" she wanted to know.

I nodded. "I told you we would, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I just wanted to make sure. Sometimes grownups say something will happen, but then it sometimes doesn't."

"Sometimes grownups can't help that," Ianto reminded her. "Life is complicated, so if someone says they will do something and then they can't, it might be out of their hands."

Jenny looked down and pushed her pancakes around. "I know. I know. I'm just excited to decorate the tree."

"That's good," I said, refilling her orange juice. "Because I need lots of help to get everything done. I waited for you guys to get here so you could make sure I did everything right."

Ianto choked, and then tried to cover it up with coughing.

"You're so funny, Jack!" Eve said. "You always have to make sure everything is perfect!"

Jenny giggled, covering her mouth while she absentmindedly waved her fork around.

I laughed, glancing at Ianto who was leaning up against the counter, his arms folded, an enormous smile on his face. He raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

"Oh no!" Eve suddenly said. Both girls looked down at the floor under their chairs. I leaned over the counter and Jellybean was happily wolfing down a pancake. Both girls looked up at me guiltily.

"I dropped a pancake," Eve said.

Jenny's eyes were wide and she looked back and forth between me and her father.

"Did it have syrup on it?" I said, hoping not.

Eve shook her head no, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

"Oh good," I said. "We don't feed Jellybean people food, but the syrup is extra bad for him."

Both girls nodded solemnly. "We know," Jenny said. "We'll be careful."

I looked back over the counter at my opportunistic dog.

"You lucked out," I told him. He smiled up at me and thumped his tail. Then he weaved himself out from between the chair legs and came around the counter to see me.

I squatted and Jellybean came up between my legs, his nose reaching for my face. I gathered up his fur on both sides of his neck between my fingers and scratched him just the way he liked. "Who's my good boy?"

"Not Jellybean!" Eve giggled.

"He's still mostly good," I said, and hugged my furry friend. He tried to wrestle away from me and lick my face. I tipped my head out of his reach and laughed. Jellybean was the reason I had this family in the first place.

"Can we string popcorn for the tree?" Jenny wanted to know.

"How do you know about stringing popcorn?" Ianto said.

"It was in a book at school," Eve informed him.

"Oh," Ianto said. "I don't know. Do we know how to do that? Would Jellybean eat the popcorn?"

They all looked at me. "I don't know anything about stringing popcorn but how hard could it be? We could look it up."

"We could put it higher up so Jellybean couldn't reach it?" Eve said.

"Jellybean doesn't even want popcorn we try to feed him on purpose," Jenny said. Then she slapped a hand over her mouth and her huge eyes betrayed her guilt.

"You are such a tattle tale," Eve said.

Jenny frowned, but kept her hand over her mouth.

"Don't feed Jellybean popcorn," I said, trying to feel patient.

Jenny glared at her sister and slowly pulled her hand away from her face. "We know. It wasn't really _on purpose_. It just fell on the floor and we thought maybe he would get it. But he didn't care."

"Well that's good to know," I said, looking at Ianto with my, what are we going to do with these kids look.

"So are we going to pop popcorn?" Eve said, bouncing up and down. She grabbed her sister's hands and they jumped and danced in a circle together.

"Pop corn! Pop pop pop popcorn!" they sang.

Jellybean ran up to them and barked, like _what is going on! Why are you barking!?_

"I'll pop the popcorn," Ianto said, interrupting the melee. "You girls go wash all the sticky off yourselves, and brush your teeth."

"Okay Taddy," Eve said. She's been trying out new names for Ianto lately. Jenny giggled and looked at her dad to see if "Taddy" would fly.

Ianto blinked and started to say something, and then shook his head and smiled.

"Better than calling you _Ianto_ , right?" I laughed.

Ianto laughed and resumed digging through the kitchen cabinet for the popcorn popper.

"Exactly," he said.

"Don't worry," I reminded him. "You'll get it all figured out with them. For now let's just focus on decorating." One thing at a time, that's my motto.

Ianto's shoulders sagged with relief. "Okay, yeah," he agreed. "Just caught me off guard, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." I pulled him close for a side hug while he cradled the popcorn popper. I kissed him on his head and smacked his ass as he walked by.

Ianto laughed and carried the popper to the counter. After some googling and a quick trip downtown to get needles and thread, Ianto and I found ourselves threading popcorn onto needles. I had to be ambitious and get cranberries to thread too, because I figured while we are doing this thing — let's go all out.

The girls were still trying, but it turns out that sliding a needle through a piece of popcorn without breaking it is pretty delicate work. So, that means that Ianto and I were left with most of the work.

"Jellybean needs to go outside," I told the girls. He'd been really good, and it was true — he wasn't interested in popcorn. But I could tell the girls were getting stir crazy and needed a change of scene, preferably something outside and active. "Will you girls take him in the backyard and run around with him?"

Ianto peeked up from his popcorn stringing and smiled at me.

"Yes!" the girls both shrieked. "Come on, Jellybean! Let's go outside!"

That was all they needed to say. Jellybean jumped to his feet and ran circles around them as they put on their shoes and coats. In a tumble of noise and shrieks, they clattered outside. We could still hear them in the yard, but it was insulated, and the room fell into silence.

"Did you think you'd ever be stringing popcorn and cranberries to put on a tree?" Ianto said, leaning back and stretching his back.

"I never try to predict anything anymore," I said. "I mean, I didn't think I'd ever see you again either." I felt my heart surge with love for my elegant and sensitive Ianto. "I feel lucky that I get to be a part of this family with you and the girls."

Ianto blushed and he dragged his eyes to meet mine.

"We're lucky to have you," he said. Then he shuffled through his phone and with the touch of a button the speakers came to live and the house filled with Christmas music.

"Now we're really festive!" he said, dancing a little to the music.

I smiled and shook my head. I loved how silly he could be sometimes.

While Ianto finished stringing the garland together I wound all the lights on the Christmas tree. We got multicoloured lights to make the girls happy, and wow were they ever! I thought white lights would look better with everything else we were doing, but if this wasn't to entertain the girls, what was it for?

Finally, after poking a needle and thread through about a million cranberries and pieces of popcorn we strung the garlands on the tree. I haven't lived with kids long, but one thing is for sure. All those fun ideas they want to do end up being no work for them and lots of work for the adults.

But the garlands were worth it. They gave an extra organic fresh feel to the inside, and complimented the fresh green of the live tree. And they looked better with the rainbow lights than I thought they would.

After that we hung ornaments and had fun looking at each one and deciding where they went. Christmas music still rang throughout the house, and with the crackling fire, and the snow outside, and the festive tree, I felt like we were in a movie or something.

I watched Ianto with his girls, and thought about the visit from his parents.

Did I want to see his happiness taken away by trying to accommodate them? I ground my jaw. No I did not. But Ianto seemed adamant and relieved.

I just hoped everything went as well as he wanted. It would be a great Christmas present for him.

Speaking of which, my deep thoughts were interrupted by Jenny's little face looking up at me. "What do you want for Christmas, Jack?" She looked so earnest and excited.

I furrowed my brow and thought. I didn't like a lot of stuff, and didn't want to obligate my friends and family to spend money to give me more things to deal with. But what did I want? Just then _Santa Claus Comes Tonight_ came on the speakers, and I grinned at Ianto.

He laughed and turned slightly pink before busying himself with the tree.

"I want to take care of my little family," I said, looking down into Jenny's wide blue eyes.

"You take care of us already," Eve said. "You are even the king of making breakfast!"

I laughed. "I'm glad you think so. And you guys are the royalty of eating it!"

"What are you going to give my Taddy for Christmas?" Jenny wanted to know.

I glanced at Ianto, wondering if he'd been trying to guess the same thing. Ianto didn't look at me, but his lips twisted in a funny half smile as he studiously avoided eye contact and adjusted a tree branch.

"Oh, probably a lump of coal," I teased.

"A lump of coal?!" Eve practically yelled. She wagged her finger at me with one hand on her hip. "That's not very nice."

"To be fair, I like coal," Ianto said from behind the tree. "It keeps the fire going all night long."

I chuckled. "Exactly. A lump of coal is actually a great gift!"

Jenny scowled. "She meant like a _present!_ " she said.

"If I tell, what will be the fun of that?" I said, and dug into the box for the next ornament to hang.

"We're just nosy," Eve said, a grin spreading across her face.

"Yeah we are!" Jenny agreed, and both girls collapsed into shrieking giggles.

"At least they admit it," Ianto laughed. He looked across the room at Jellybean, who was stretched out snoozing in front of the fire. "Jellybean has the right idea. I want a nap for Christmas," he said.

"Ugh, grownups are _so boring_ ," Eve said, disgust in her voice.

"Being a grown up isn't nearly as boring as you think," Ianto peeked at me through the tree branches and winked.

"Can we have hot chocolate now?" Jenny said.

"Not until we finish hanging all the ornaments," Ianto reminded her.

"But we're getting bored," Jenny said, as if this argument would convince her dad. I laughed to myself, knowing what was coming next.

"Only boring kids get bored," Ianto said.

"I knew you were going to say that," Eve said.

"That's because it's always true," Ianto told her. "We're almost done. Then we'll have dinner. Then we'll have hot chocolate."

"Are we having a Christmas party this year?" Jenny asked, like she suddenly remembered this possibility.

"Yep, one on Christmas Eve," Ianto said.

"And mama is coming, right?" Eve said.

"Yes, your mother is coming," Ianto said.

"Who else?" Jenny said.

"Nikki and Owen, Josh and Toshiko and Avery," I said.

"Ohhhh, fun," Jenny said.

"What about Aunt Rhiannon?" Eve said.

Ianto furrowed his brow. "My sister hasn't been in Torchwood for Christmas for a long time," he said. "So probably not? If they come into town, we'll invite them."

"What about Gramma and Poppy?" Jenny said. "How come they don't come to parties anymore?"

"They might," Ianto said, his tone slow and measured. "They might have other things to go to that night."

I had to admire Ianto for not telling his girls that their Poppy was not welcome.

"But don't they want to see us on Christmas Eve?" Eve said. "Do you know how to dance around the house without them showing us?"

"You remember that?" Ianto said, a puzzled smile on his face.

"Yeah, we held hands and Poppy and Gramma sang a funny song and we danced around the house. And Gramma said that we could both be Santa Lucia next time."

"How did you know about Santa Lucia?" Ianto looked at Eve in amazement.

"Gramma had a book about it, remember?" Eve said, exasperated.

"She said we could both dress up as Santa Lucia," Jenny said. "So can we?"

Ianto looked at me while he thought through this question. "Yes, you can do that for our party."

Eve shrieked with excitement. "Can we wear real candles on our head?!"

"Certainly not," Ianto said. "Only electric ones."

"Aww," Jenny said, the disappointment clear in her voice. "But the real Santa Lucia wore real candles on her head."

"She was older than you too," Ianto said.

I didn't know what this was all about, and gave Ianto a puzzled look.

"You'll see," he laughed.


	6. lunch

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Jack said to my reflection in the mirror on the bathroom door. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched me finish my morning routine. He was already ready, of course. Dude ran like a precision clock.

Janet lay curled up on the made bed, obviously claiming the whole thing for her daytime sleeping spot. If we didn't leave soon she'd be giving us the stink eye, wondering why we were invading her sleeping space. Jellybean sat at Jack's feet, ready for the day ahead.

"It's okay. I know you have a lot going on trying to get all your Christmas orders done," I said. Jack did custom carpentry, which usually translated into high end kitchens. You wouldn't believe how many people decide they want their kitchen redone in time for a Christmas party.

"I know, but you're more important," Jack said. I smiled pulled the toothbrush out of my mouth to peek around the corner to smile at my hunky boyfriend

"You're so sweet. It's okay. I think I wanna do this alone — it feels important somehow." I wasn't sure why, but it did. "I think they squirm more when you're there, which is good, but if they are alone I won't have their 'guest

manners' and I can see what they are really up to."

Jack coughed a reluctant laugh. "Hoping they aren't up to anything except wanting to see you."

"Here's hoping," I said, shutting down the bathroom and speeding into the bedroom.

"You're going to be late," I said as Jack stood.

"I'm never late," Jack said, grinning at me. "But you will be unless you leave right now."

Downstairs, he handed me a to-go thermos of coffee, kissed me goodbye, and I headed toward another day at work. I worked in the veterinary clinic in the next town and had a solid commute ahead of me. I would have to take a long lunch to meet with my parents and be back on time.

This was good, then I didn't have to sit through a long awkward meal. I'd show up, deliver my message, see what they had to say, and then leave. In, out, done.

A LOT of business lunches happen at country clubs. I've learned this over the years, and many old members have their favourite tables. I found my parents sitting at my dad's. It was weird in a way, like old times, no big deal, another lunch at the club.

Except this time I intended to run the meeting.

"We haven't ordered yet," my mum said.

"That's fine," I said, but inside I was glad they hadn't presumed to make any decisions for me. It would have been bad — symbolically.

My dad took off his reading glasses where he'd been poring over the menu I was sure he already knew by heart. "I'm glad you decided to meet with us again, son."

"Me too," I said. "And I've thought a lot about our conversation. You're right, a lot of talk is just a lot of talk."

My parents glanced at each other and I saw my mother visibly swallow.

"What kind of action would you like to see?" my dad said.

"I thought about that," I said. "Let me tell you a story."

Just then the waiter came by and asked for our order. I'd seen the menu on my way in.

"I'll have the special, Steven," I said to the waiter I'd known most of my life.

"Sounds good to me," my mum said. She looked at my dad, and he nodded. Steven left and I looked at my parents back and forth, habit making me dread confrontation, but history making me relish keeping them in suspense.

"All too often, teenagers are thrown out of their homes by their parents for being gay," I said. My mum looked like she was going to say something and I held up my hand. "Let me say this."

My dad took her hand and held it, and stared at me.

I continued. "A lot of these kids have nowhere to go, and end up being forced into prostitution in order to survive."

My father's jaw dropped and my mother's eyes welled up with tears.

"We are talking sometimes really young kids, but at any age this is horrible. In some places, people have started trusts and opened safe houses for these kids. They are able to continue their education, get support, and hopefully create a family who cares about them."

I stopped and looked at my parents. They simply stared at me. Then my mum said, "That is awful. Why are you telling us this?"

"That's that I want to do. I want you to start a trust and I want you to open a safe house for LGBT kids. In the UK there is a thing like this they call the Purple Door Project. I want a Torchwood Purple Door project."

My dad frowned. "That would be incredibly expensive."

I nodded. "It would. Good thing you have lots of rich friends."

My mum's lip quirked in a little smile when I said this.

"Part of my stipulation is that this be a publicly known project and that you enlist all of your fat-wallet friends. You can remind them that their donations are tax deductible," I said.

"What's the second thing?" my dad said. "You said there were two things."

"Ah, yes. The second thing is a little smaller. I want to open a pet shelter in Torchwood."

"So your theme here is shelters?" my dad said, chewing on the end of his glasses in thought.

"My theme is safe homes," I said. "I was too much of a coward to stand up to you when I was a kid, but some of these kids aren't even given a choice. It would balance a karmic debt for you to do these things."

"How does the animal shelter fit into this?" my dad wanted to know.

"Because Torchwood doesn't have one, and you get to finance one because I asked you to," I said. "Think of it as justice for holding the practice over my head."

My mother laughed, and then covered her mouth. My dad turned and looked at her incredulously, and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, ask a silly question!"

"This would take quite a bit of time to get off the ground," my dad said. "How is that going to work?"

"I'm a reasonable man," I said. "We can meet with your accountant and your attorney, and get a signed notarized contract that you will do these things. You will put the teeth in the contract so that you show me in good faith that you will do it."

My father raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair, just as the salad course arrived. "I'm impressed by your straightforward demands, I have to admit."

"Good. Then you'll do them?" I felt my heart pound as I stared into my father's gray blue eyes.

"Absolutely," he said, and extended his hand to shake mine. I looked at him for a moment to gauge whether he meant it, and then shook his hand.

My mum jumped out of her chair and pulled me up for a hug. "I missed you Ianto," she said, sniffling into my ear.

"I hope you're ready for a new hobby," I said loud enough my dad could hear.

"We are," he said. He picked up his fork and regarded his salad. "We could get the shelter moving quickly, especially since it sounds like you want to spearhead that."

I nodded, he was right.

"The other would require more fund raising and more legal structuring in order to do the most good. It might take a year before we could get a house going, but we can have the meeting you want right away. "That works for me," I said. I felt numb, after so many years of working under the conforming pressure of my parents, and then these last few months of zero contact.

"You just have to give me time to acclimate. Most people don't change overnight," I said.

"This isn't overnight," my mom said. "We've done a lot of soul searching in the last few months. Nothing is more important to us than righting the past."

I knew she was right, and I also knew that while this would take some effort on their part, I wasn't asking for the impossible. My mother came from a lot of money, and my dad's family were decidedly well off.

"The most important part for me is that you would undertake these projects publicly," I said.

"Absolutely," my father said. "I'd name the trust after us, but I don't think you want us to do that," he chuckled.

For the first time in a long time, I felt my humor lift in the presence of my parents. "Heh, yeah no. But thanks for the smile."

Steven appeared with the entrees and I realized I'd barely touched my salad.

"Can you box all of mine up for me?" I said. "I have to get back to the office."

"When are you going to eat lunch?" my mum wanted to know. She seemed aghast.

I laughed. "I'll find fifteen minutes somewhere." I stood up to leave and looked at both of my parents. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"I'll call the attorney today and keep you in the loop," my dad said. He seemed energized by this already. I thought about reminding mom this would keep him out of her hair but thought better of saying it. This was going to give him an excuse to call me with constant updates.

I sighed. I guess I'd get to find out if he really meant all this or not. As I stood, Steven appeared with my take-out boxes. My dad stood and shook my hand, and my mom hugged me.

I decided to go for it. "We're having a party on Christmas eve, if you aren't doing anything else."

My dad's face lit up and my mum clapped her hands.

"Oh goody!" she said. "I love your Christmas eve parties!"

"The girls asked if we were going to sing the 'Nos Galan' song," I laughed.

"What did you tell them?" my mom said.

"What do you think he told them?" my dad boomed, a big grin breaking out on his face.

"Of course we are!" I said, unable to control my smile.

"And the girls want to dress like Santa Lucia," I told my mum. "I haven't done anything about that yet."

"I'll get the dresses!" she said, clapping her hands. "And the crowns!"

"Good plan," I said. "Electric please."

ALL THE WAY back to the office I had the "Nos Galan" song in my head. My dad would start the song on this old record, and we held hands and circled the Christmas tree around and around, and then he would lead us through the house. We would sing along as best we could.

I found out years later that the lyrics go something like, "Christmas is here, Christmas is here and it will last until Easter. No it won't, because first there's Lent and fasting." These repeat over and over, as the song goes faster.

I laughed out loud to myself at the absurdity and fun of it all. Maybe Christmas could last all year. Or at least until Lent.

1\. Oer yw'r gwr sy'n methu caru,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Hen fynyddoedd anwyl Cymru,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Iddo ef a'u car gynhesaf,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Gwyliau llawen flwydd nesaf,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.

2\. I'r helbulus oer yw'r biliau  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Sydd yn dyfod yn y Gwyliau,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Gwrando bregeth mewnun pennill,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Byth na waria fwy na'th ennill  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.

3\. Oer yw'r eira ar Eryi,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Er fod gwrthban gwlanen arni,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Oer yw'r bobol na ofalan',  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.  
Gwrdd a'u gilydd Ar Nos Galan,  
Fal la la la la, la la la la.

My parents taught me it was this traditional Christmas song and maybe it was, but I realized when I got older that it was probably also a drinking song. It was one that was the origins of 'Deck the Halls' so it wss all about being merry right?

If I could have a good relationship with my parents, believe they have changed, and create safe havens for animals and kids, I couldn't think of anything else I wanted for Christmas.

Well, maybe one thing. I'd have to wait until Christmas to find out if I got it.


	7. let the party begin

"Do we have everything?" I said to no one in particular, though everyone was nearby. Jellybean followed me around the house as I made the last-minute preparations for our Christmas Eve party.

Janet was usually nowhere in sight but today seemed to be in the Christmas spirit and played with Jellybean while we got everything ready. When people started arriving she would vanish, leaving people to wonder if we even had a cat.

"I think we're right on track," Ianto said, frowning over my party preparation list. He looked around the house, his hands on his hips.

"Relax, everything looks perfect."

"That's because it is perfect!" Eve said. She spun in her white dress, around and around, Jenny spinning with her. Jellybean tried to chase them at first and then gave up and laid down to watch them with a wary eye.

I surveyed the house with a new critical scrutiny. All the decorating was done. The tree looked perfect. Jellybean did not eat the popcorn or the cranberries. Ianto had candles absolutely everywhere. He said it was a tradition thing. Lots and lots and lots of candles, but it was too early to light them.

I'd learned the bloody song, so I was game to go along with whatever traditions he wanted to show me.

I picked up all the food we ordered, everything else we made. We had crackers, a cheese platter, nuts both shelled and unshelled with a nutcracker, if someone wanted a project. I'd ordered several large sandwich rings, shrimp on ice, and made meatballs. I mostly did logistics compared to Ianto who spent countless evening hours in the kitchen this week.

Ianto went crazy and made all kinds of treats: thin gingerbread cookies, sweet rolls flavoured with saffron, spiral sponge cakes, Bara Brith, oat rolled truffles and this mulled wine. We also had beer, hot chocolate, and ginger soda, a favourite with the kids.

We didn't go too fancy, just fun snacks and food.

Everyone would come, bring more food, and we'd hang out and have a fun party.

When Welsh people wish you ' _Nadolig Llawen'_ , they're not just thinking about ordinary festivities. They're thinking about horses' skulls, 3am hymn-singing, odd apples, mountain races and seaside swims too. Jude Rogers dips into the deep Welsh midwinter traditions

I am glad Ianto did not adhere to ALL the traditions of his heritage.

The unspoken tension stretched across the room between me and Ianto. Would his parents come? How would that be? His dad had already drawn up the paperwork showing intent to follow through, and that relaxed Ianto a lot.

Still it was going to be weird to have them here, in our home, with them not used to…well…us. But this was our home, our party, and they asked for entrance into our world. We set the terms, not them, and they'd asked to be allowed in. They asked to show they could respect our world.

So we were cautiously optimistic. Me, I wanted everything to be perfect. Not just for me, but really for Ianto. I had plans for later and wanted everything to be smooth for him so he could have a great Christmas.

I looked out the window to check the weather. The snow fell softly, and the sky was turning gray as night started to fall. It was time to turn on the playlist and light the candles.

Just then, the doorbell rang. It was 5:45 p.m., fifteen minutes before the official start time.

"That would be Lisa," Ianto called from the kitchen. She'd cleared an early arrival so she could help out with the girls.

I opened the door, and Ianto's ex-wife Lisa stood on the porch next to a tall smiling guy with light brown hair and dimples. I remembered Ianto told me she was bringing someone she'd been dating. Lisa was all winter glam tonight. She wore a red puffy coat and red glittery boots that matched her red lips. Her long black hair cascaded down to impossible lengths, like she was some kind of Rapunzel and I am reminded that she is a hairdresser. Those extensions are to die for.. One glance at her with this guy, and I could tell they were in love. I don't think they knew it yet though.

"Hey Lisa!" I said, genuinely happy to see her. Ianto didn't have supportive parents but he sure lucked out when it came to the rest of his family, especially in his ex-wife.

"Hi Jack," she smiled at me. "This is Trent." She indicated him, and then looked up into his eyes and they both blushed.

"Come on in, you two." I extended a hand to Trent as he came in. "Nice to meet you man."

He shook my hand.

"Thanks," he said. He looked around cautiously.

"You can relax here," I said, clapping him on the back. "Can I offer you a drink?"

Trent burst into a relieved smile. "Sure," he said. "I know this is a family party…"

"Any guest of Lisa's is a guest of ours," I said, as I pulled her into my arms and gave her a big hug. Lisa got the big brother treatment from me, and that included impossibly strong Janet hugs.

"Oof, Jack," Lisa squeaked. "You're like a mountain! Don't break me."

I laughed, and let her go. "The girls are upstairs. They were sort of ready at one point, but you know how it is."

Lisa nodded and pursed her lips. "I'm up to the task."

She held up a bag full of who knows what — curling irons and tubes and bottles.

Ianto emerged from the kitchen and shook Trent's hand, and then gave Lisa a brief hug.

"Thanks for coming early. Keeping the girls put together is almost impossible, and we are at the level where I am out of my league," he said.

"That's what I'm here for," she said. "I have a little surprise for them too." She winked at us, and made her way upstairs.

"Where's my girls?" she called.

Eve and Jenny squealed and ran to the top of the stairs. "Mama!"

"Let's get you fancy," Lisa said, and they disappeared up the stairs.

I looked at Ianto and Trent and clapped my hands.

"Let's see about that drink," I said.

Before long Trent and Ianto were laughing in the kitchen like old friends. I went around lighting all the candles, and then I built up the fire so it could run untended for a while.

Next came my sister Nicole and her son Owen. We had so much food and Nikki brought even more. She'd had a catering business and then ran the restaurant portion of the coffee shop Lisa ran with her dad.

"Hey Jack," she said, handing me armfuls of plates and bowls to relive some of her load. Her son Owen also held several dishes in his hands.

"Come on in," I said. "I don't think we'll starve to death tonight." I set what she'd given me on one of the buffet tables we'd set up and peeked under the lids. Delicious smells wafted up and my stomach growled.

"All this food, and you haven't been snacking?" Nikki teased. Arms free, she pulled herself to me in a big hug.

If Lisa got a sister hug, Nikki got an even tighter squeeze.

Owen had already found his way to the kitchen.

"Did you get ginger beer this year?" I heard him ask Ianto.

I went around and gathered up coats and hung them up on the long rack in the back hallway/mudroom. My stomach growled again. Maybe just one little bite to eat before we officially start the party… Like he could read my mind, Ianto appeared in front of me and put a saffron roll in my mouth. I bit down and then took the delectable bun from him.

"Mmmm," I said, as I chewed and swallowed. "How did you know?"

He laughed and patted my stomach. "You have rock hard abs, but I heard your stomach growling through them anyway."

"Aww, Ianto," I grinned, and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I take care of my Jack," he said. Then he pinched my nipples through my shirt and kissed me again. I groaned.

"I'm going to punish you for that later," I murmured in his ear.

"I'm counting on it," he laughed, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

The doorbell rang again. This time it was Sarah, Ianto's co-worker when he still worked at the vet clinic here in Torchwood, and the new vet Beckett.

"Welcome to Christmas!" I said, and welcomed them inside.

"I brought food," Sarah said, and then laughed when she saw the tables. "Though I'm not sure why!"

"More food is always better!" I said, and rearranged everything to make space for her offering.

Before long, the entryway was littered with boots, and the mitten/hat rack was a riot of squishy colours. Ianto kept anxiously popping into sight and looking out the window.

"It will be okay," I reassured him, as I made my way to the back hall hooks with an arm full of coats. "I'll handle the door, unless you would rather do it."

Ianto pressed his eyes closed tightly. "No, you do it, and then I'll come out. This way I can stay busy in the kitchen."

I pulled him close to me with my free arm and kissed him.

"We got this," I reminded him.

He looked up into my eyes with his anxious baby blues and nodded. "Okay," he said.

Not five minutes later the doorbell rang again. Ianto's parents stood on the porch with their arms full of gifts.

The paper on the packages reflected the twinkling Christmas lights on the porch, giving the whole scene an extra glow.

"Come on in, welcome, welcome." I flung the door open and ushered them in. "You can put the gifts under the tree, and we have entirely too much food, so help yourself."

"Jack," Ianto's dad said, giving me perfunctory smile as they came inside.

Ianto bustled in from the kitchen, his cheeks glowing and his eyes bright. He'd met with his parents a couple of times since the lunch, but he was still nervous to have them over for a social event.

It didn't help that everyone there knew what happened before and were trying not to stare. But we'd filled them all in beforehand so there wouldn't be any moments any more awkward than they needed to be.

Ianto helped them with their coats and boots and gave them a tour of the table.

"It's lovely," his mum said. She craned her head around the room. "Where are my granddaughters?"

They were our last guests to arrive and we had been waiting for them to start the show.

"Funny you should ask," Lisa said from the top of the stairs. She nodded at me, and that was my signal. I lowered the lights and switched the music to a sweet and ancient melody. A hush fell on the room. Ianto came and stood beside me, and I put my arm around him. The high clear voices of an all-girls choir filled the air.

_Hark! through the darksome night_

_Sounds come a winging:_

All eyes looked upstairs as Jenny and Eve's voices joined the music, singing along with the song. Both wore long white dresses with red sashes. They each had crowns of glowing (electric) candles and they came down the stairs, singing along with the song.

_Lo! 'tis the Queen of Light_

_Joyfully singing._

Everyone stood transfixed as the little girls who looked very much like angels proceeded down the stairs, confidently singing as they went. Danelle came down behind them, also wearing red and white, hers in the form of a red skirt and a white fluffy sweater. She held a white candle in her hands. The music continued.

_Clad in her garment white,_

_Wearing her crown of light,_

_Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia._

When they got to the bottom of the stairs they stood in front of the Christmas tree and sang the rest of the song for the guests.

_Deep in the northern sky_

_Bright stars are beaming;_

_Christmas is drawing nigh_

_Candles are gleaming._

_Welcome thou vision rare,_

_Lights glowing in thy hair_

_Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia._

As soon as they were done the room exploded into applause. I squeezed Ianto's shoulders. He wiped his eye, and I noticed so did most of everyone else in the room. Nothing says cute like not one, but two, Santa Lucias for your Christmas party.

"Can I do that next year?" Avery asked, her eyes shining with the wonder of the spectacle. Toshiko looked at Ianto, questioning in her eyes.

"Absolutely," he said. "The only thing better than two girls for our show would be three." He looked at me, happiness in his eyes. I knew what he was thinking.

_People wanted to come again next year._

We were making traditions together.


	8. Cheesy

As soon as the girls finished singing, I stood on the stairs and waited for everyone's attention as Jack stood nearby. "I'd like to welcome you all - friends, family, loved ones. We have a little fun planned for you, but first, let me tempt you with a cup of nögg. We have adults-only nögg and kid friendly nögg. If you might be the inhibited type, I encourage you to have the former."

Everyone laughed at this, and I grinned to myself, a bloom of excitement spreading through me.

"Taddy! Are we going to sing the 'Nos Galan' song?" Eve called out.

This led to puzzled looks from some and animated buzz from others. I nodded. "Yes, we are going to sing the 'Nos Galan' song. So first, everyone grab a cup of cheer, and then gather around the Christmas tree."

Everyone crowded over to the punch bowl and I served up the nögg. My parents were fitting in nicely, talking and mingling with everyone. My mom came up next in line and I handed her a cup of nögg.

"The girls look great. Thanks for getting them the dresses," I said, meaning it.

She flushed. "It was great fun, and they looked so beautiful." She looked around for them, and we spied them running spinning around in their dresses in the living room.

After serving everyone and satisfied all had at least one drink, I took Jack by the hand and we called for the girls, and headed for the Christmas tree.

Jack had pulled the tree out so it wasn't against the wall, and we gathered hands in front of it.

"Everyone hold hands!" Eve yelled. That girl was going to be in charge of something someday, I was sure of it. Those who knew what we were doing convinced the others to join us, until finally the whole party was around the tree, holding hands. I held Jack's hand and had my mom's in the other, so she could make sure the caboose stayed intact.

After Jack were Eve and Jenny, though Jenny ran to hold her Gramma's hand.

Everyone laughed and talked and looked at me expectantly.

"You're going to need to put your drink down so finish it off," I said, as loudly as I could. "You can have more when we're done. "Everyone join hands and circle the tree and follow my lead!"

I felt heady, drunk on the combined energy of all these people I cared about, all gathered together and looking to me with anticipation. Jack grinned at me and then changed to the song on his phone and it played throughout the room on the speakers. It was so old fashioned and corny, and brought back so many holiday memories of so many years of doing just this thing, but with my father or earlier, my grandfather leading the song.

As the song started, I sang and led everything in toward the tree, and then back out. Then in, and then back out.

Then we circled the tree, first one way, and then the other. At first people were half-heartedly going along, but then as the song took off and we went faster, and they knew what we were doing, they got into it. Pretty soon we were all holding hands and skipping around the tree, everyone laughing and enthusiastically singing along.

At this point I split off and led the chain around the house, in and out of rooms, and everyone followed, the music pushing them faster and faster. The girls laughed hysterically and as I passed back on the chain of friends, I my heart surged with happiness as I saw our guests mixed together, all laughing and singing together, holding hands. Their cheeks were pink from exertion and their eyes shining from the crazy fun of it.

Yeah, they would come back next year, I was sure of it.

Jack squeezed my hand and smiled at me, and I could feel his encouragement.

"This is a riot!" Jack's brother Gray called to me as Toshiko passed us in the chain.

"Woo hoo!" Sarah yelled, she and Beckett danced by next in line.

Finally as the song wound down I brought the group back around the tree around and around. By the time the song was over, everyone was exercised, excited, and good friends.

Best ice breaker ever. I mean, besides the nögg.

After that, the party kicked it up a notch, and basically ran itself. I got to talk to everyone, lean my head on Jack's shoulder, and sometimes update the buffet table. Perfect.

Later, I was in the kitchen and my dad sought me out.

"Ianto, I wanted to talk to you about our project."

Just out of natural reaction, my heart skipped a beat in worry, and then I remembered that things were on the mend with my parents. Old habits die hard.

I sat down at a barstool and motioned for him to join me.

"I know this is a Christmas party, and I hate to talk business, but I didn't want to wait any longer to discuss this."

I looked at my dad objectively, he seemed so excited.

Animated. He had a file folder full of papers, and he was thumbing through them. Some were printed from the internet and some were legal papers.

"I know you wanted us to create a safe house, but I had an idea, and I want you to hear me out."

I frowned. Was he trying to get out of it already? I swallowed, forcing myself to wait before completely reacting.

"I did some research with that, and I would like to go a little further. There is a program where they have a safe house, but they also have a thrift store where the kids can work and learn job skills. These kids won't just need somewhere to live. They need something to do, and training in order to be successful in their life. I know it's a little past the scope of what we originally discussed, but I'd like to do something like that."

I blinked and stared at my father. Who was this man? He was so into this. He really had changed.

My father stopped looking through his notes and frowned at me. "Are you okay?"

Tears sprang to my eyes. "Yes, I'm fine," I croaked. "I just…wow…this is great."

"This is a big project," my dad admitted. "We are estimating we might be at a year before we are fully functioning, but if we are going to do this, I want to do it right."

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just managed a smile at him.

My dad wagged his finger in the air, almost at himself.

"Oh, another thing." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope and slid it over to me. "The animal shelter. This should be enough to get that going and operating while you solicit more donations. I was thinking maybe right now you focus on getting the shelter done, and I'll do all this groundwork for the safe house and programs."

I put my hand on the envelope and bit my lip. "Thanks dad," I said. I dragged my eyes to meet his. "You really… you've impressed me."

He shook his head. "I would have been impressive if I'd not put us through all this."

I nodded, unable to argue. I couldn't hide my smile. "But, since you did, think of all the good we're going to do."

"That's my hope," he sighed. "I went home and did a lot of research and…" he put his head in his hands. "My god, I'm so glad we didn't lose you to the streets."

I put my hand on his shoulder. The past was heavy and sad, and I was glad he was sorry. But now is now and the future is ahead of us. "Me too," I managed. "We can save so many kids who would be otherwise."

He met my eyes earnestly. "I'll do everything I can to make sure we do."

I pulled him into a hug. "Thanks dad."

He patted my back. "You're welcome. Love you son."

I squeezed my eyes tight. "I love you too." After a beat I whispered, "Merry Christmas."

"Indeed," he said, giving me a squeeze. "And by the way," he gripped my arm as he spoke into my ear. "Jack is terrific. I'm glad you picked him over your stupid old man."

I choked with a laugh that almost felt like it would turn into a sob. The lunacy of this conversation wasn't beyond me. "Me too, dad. Me too."

"All right," my father cleared his throat, suddenly brusque. "Enough business. I haven't tried all the treats, and I will regret it all year long if I don't."

I laughed, wiping my eyes. "You'd better hurry. Some of the things are going fast."

Just then Eve and Jenny burst into the kitchen. "Taddy, can we open presents now?"

I laughed, the pure excitement of my girls contagiously cleansing all the heavy memories away. "Of course. Let's go open presents."

"Yay!" they squealed and then ran into the living room.

"Jack, Taddy says we can open presents now!"

"All right then," Jack boomed from the living room. "Let's open presents."

"ME FIRST!" my mum exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and demonstrating a remarkable agility for a woman her age. She gave my dad a pointed look and he exited out the front door, I guessed to retrieve something for her.

"Can I help?" Eve cried, following her Gramma close behind.

"Me too!" Jenny scrambled close behind her sister.

My mother laughed. "But then how will you get your presents?" she stood with her hand on her hip and gave the girls a mock stern look.

"Oh yeah," Jenny said. She put her finger in her mouth, a throwback to her younger days and looked to me with real concern in her eyes.

"You could go last?" I suggested, amusement bubbled inside me.

Horror filled Eve's eyes. "Go last?"

"I think that's a great idea," Lisa said. She and Trent were sitting in the corner of a couch, very much snuggling.

"Yes, then you get the fun of helping and then the fun of opening a present at the end too," I pointed out.

The girls looked at me skeptically, and then Jenny nodded. "Okay, I'll do that. I can help you, Gramma!"

"Me too!" Eve said, never to be outdone or left behind by her sister.

I found a seat and pulled Jack next to me happy to enjoy the spectacle. If I knew my mother I knew what all of this was. She and I spent all kinds of time on the phone since our lunch and she left nothing to chance.

My dad came back inside with a giant basket full of presents, all beautifully wrapped and addressed to their recipients.

"Okay girls," my mum said. "Take turns pulling a gift out and reading the tag. Then give the person their present."

She turned to the room. "Don't open your gift until everyone has theirs and everyone can open them at once."

The girls did just that, reading off names. "Sarah."

"Beck….Beckett." "Nichole." "Trent." On and on it went. I got a lot of quizzical looks from some of the recipients, a few who had never met my mother. I just gave them my 'beats me' smile and shrugged.

When the basket was empty, the girls looked in, aghast to find nothing for themselves. They looked up at my mother, who winked at me and then their Poppy handed them each their gifts they'd been hiding behind the couch.

My mom turned around in a circle in the room and clasped her hands together.

"Is everyone ready?"

I swear she just loves the attention.

She brought her hands down. "You may open your gift!"

The room erupted in a cacophony of ripping paper and laughing. I held my gift on my lap, happy to watch the room. Everyone seemed astonished to receive a pair of high quality pyjamas, all different prints and designs, in exactly their size.

"What's Christmas Eve without new pyjamas?" my mum laughed.

"Now I know why you have so many winter pyjamas," Jack murmured in my ear.

I laughed, "Yep, I get a new pair every year whether I need them or not, and now you will too."

The rest of the night proceeded in lovely fashion, though my girls were absolutely spoiled since every person arriving brought them each a gift.

When no one but Jack looking I slid open the envelope my dad gave me and peeked inside. I gasped at the sum. It was enough money to start the shelter right away. Ever since I was a kid and tried to save every stray dog who followed me home, and hid stray kittens I'd found in my coat at school to save them from the cold, I wanted a way to do more to save animals.

Jack squeezed my shoulder and kissed me on the top of my head as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I looked up and noticed my dad watching us, his mouth in a tight smile, like he was trying to hold his emotions in. His eyes welled up too until finally he had to wipe his own tears away.

"Thank you dad," I said, again. There was so much commotion in the room no one else noticed.

"You're welcome," he said, and then turned his happy attention to his grand daughters who were modelling their new pyjamas. They'd wasted no time putting them on.

We had a merry gift exchange after that. Later I noticed the girls were getting sleepy. They were going home with their mother that night, so I got their attention and said, "Girls. If you want to see your gifts from Jack and me, let's go check the garage."

"The garage?" Nikki said. "I hope you didn't get them cars."

"Not hardly!" I said. As far as I was concerned they were never growing up, and therefore would never need cars.

Jack and I wrapped each girl up in a blanket and carried them in our arms out into the winter night. The snow fell just a little, and a breeze blew it around in little blustery curls.

"Is it a pony?" Jenny asked Jack.

Jack chuckled, his deep voice warming my heart with his resonant amusement. "No, but I promise you'll love it."

When we got into the garage, Jack turned on the lights and we put the girls on the shop floor. We'd thought to put on their winter boots and their coats under the blankets. Jack pointed to two square shapes covered by sheets.

"That one is for Eve, and that is for Jenny," he pointed.

They both looked up at us, questioning in their eyes.

"Go see!" I said.

They each took their sister's hand and ventured to the draped objects, and then looked back up at us again.

"Pull!" Jack said.

And so they did, to reveal two beautiful hand-made desks.

"Wow!" Eve said.

"They're desks!" Jenny exclaimed. "For us?"

"Yep, for you," Jack beamed. My heart surged with love for my burly sweet quiet carpenter. He's worked tirelessly on these desks built especially for my two little daughters.

"There's more," I said. "Look in the drawers."

A crowd had followed us outside, and everyone admired the beautiful shining desks.

The girls pulled open drawers to find them full of the thing they loved the very most.

"Art supplies!" Eve shrieked.

"Yay!" Jenny said. "We can art forever now!"

I laughed, peeking at Lisa. I bet she heard that term from her. She grinned and looked down, pleased with her daughter's clever mimicry.

"We'll get them put in your room before you get back," Jack said. "I wanted to put them in there to surprise you…"

"But you guys are too clever and there was no way we could have put them in your room without you noticing," I said.

"That's for sure," Eve said, putting her hands on her hips. She looked down to see Jellybean walk up to her with a stick in his mouth, his tail wagging. That dog loved carrying things around in his mouth.

"Look who woke up," I said.

Jellybean was a morning person, and after greeting all the guests and receiving as much admiration as a dog could possibly handle, he'd curled up in the corner near the fire and gone to sleep. Or, mostly to sleep. I'm sure he kept one eye open to watch the room. He must have woken up when everyone came outside.

My dad came into the shop and looked over the desks.

He turned and shook Jack's hand. "That's some beautiful work, son," he said. "Thank you for taking such good care of my grand daughters."

He looked Jack square in the eye, and I felt so proud of my father for evolving as a person.

"It's my pleasure, sir," Jack said, his military manners on full display.

"And for taking good care of our Ianto," my mum said, taking my dad's arm and smiling at us until I felt awkward and dopey.

"No more nögg for you," I joked, and leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

She put her hand to her face and laughed. "If I can't be cheesy at Christmas, when can I?"

Jack nodded seriously, like this was the most important discussion in the world. "Your mother has a point. Do not deny her the cheese."

I realized everyone was watching, and I felt my cheeks burn. Why was I even blushing? "And I love you all too! Are you happy now?"

Jack leaned over and kissed me. "Yes. Yes I am."


	9. the last sleep before Christmas Day

"Alone at last," Jack grinned at me as he closed the door on our last departing guest. Everyone was gone, except Jellybean who snoozed in front of the glowing fire. The whole scene looked like a Christmas card picture.

Jack put his large calloused hand around mine and led me to the couch. I looked longingly toward the kitchen and Jack chuckled. "I want to clean up as much as you do, but I did a lot while you were running the door. Don't worry."

I leaned back into the cushions and sighed, anxious relief filling me. The adrenaline of the party wound me so tightly, I was still trying to come down from it.

Jack knew this about me and he sat with his arm around me, patient and quiet. He ran his fingers up and down my arm and smoothed my hair. I slowly relaxed and snuggled into him and watched the fire burn down.

Watching a fire was so meditative. How many people over how many millennia did exactly what we were doing?

Cuddling close to your loved one and watching the fire, and feeling safe from the storm felt like a very ancient and primal thing to do.

I looked around the darkened room, still filled with bright burning candles. If this didn't look like Christmas eve, then nothing did.

Jack kissed the top of my head and said, "I have a present I'd like to give you tonight, unless you would rather have it in the morning."

I sat up a little, suddenly alert again, and looked into his vivid blue eyes, dark in the shadowed room. I had a gift for Jack too — and I was kind of planning on giving it to him on Christmas morning. But if he wanted to do gifts tonight I could pivot — I think. Or, I could ask him to wait, but curiosity was getting the better of me.

Jack squeezed me a little. "I love watching the war inside you," he said, his eyes dancing with amusement. "You want to wait until Christmas, but you are dying to find out what your gift is."

Laughter bubbled up inside me. Jack was right. I raised my chin and smiled at him. "Let's wait until tomorrow. I didn't get us these stockings for nothing."

Jack looked at the empty stockings we had hanging on the mantle and smiled. He scratched the top of his head and said, "All right. Tomorrow morning it is. I can keep a secret a few more hours."

"I know you're trying to tempt me, but it won't work," I said, and slid myself around to straddle his lap.

"This works for me too," Jack said, and pulled me in even closer. I silently wished we'd put our pyjamas on first. My tight pants were too restrictive for this to be as entertaining as it could be.

I wiggled on his lap and enjoyed feeling the swell of his erection growing under me.

"I was always told that if we didn't go to bed Santa wouldn't come." I laughed at the end of this sentence, unable to keep a straight face with my double entendre.

Jack grinned and laughed softly as he traced the shape of my body with his large experienced hands. "Let's get ready for bed, and by then I can put the fire out."

I climbed off his lap, sorry to leave his embrace, and held out my hand to pull him up.

"You can have the bathroom first while I finish putting away food and let the dog out. Then I'll get ready while you do the fire," I said. The gears turned in my mind as I planned out the next twelve hours.

Jack considered. He always planned everything, so I knew he was doing the same thing. "That works. I'm excited to put my Christmas pyjamas on."

He reached over and picked up his gift from my mother and looked at the print. My mother had found him black pyjamas with little saws and hammers all over them. At first glance you didn't realize what the print was. Mine were like that, except they were navy and had little dogs all over them.

I shook my head.

"Don't ever underestimate my mother's shopping skills," I said as I grabbed my gift pyjamas.

I led Jack upstairs by the hand and then kissed him before he went into the bathroom. The moment I knew he was safely locked away for a few minutes, I ran to the bottom of my dresser and pulled out the gifts I'd been hoarding. I had just a few minutes to get them downstairs and into Jack's stocking.

All of my commotion roused Jellybean again and he got up to see what I was doing. He sniffed all the packages and wagged his tail.

"Not for you, sweet doggie," I whispered.

I crept down the stairs, and he followed behind me, wondering what I was up to.

I laid out all the other things I'd gotten for Jack's sock and padded his main gift with other things so even if he felt his stocking he wouldn't guess what he was getting.

By the time I was done, his stocking was full to the top. I snuffed all the candles and made sure everything was locked.

As soon as Jack came downstairs to tend the fire, he'd know what I'd been doing, but I knew he wouldn't snoop.

I hung the bulging sock on a hook away from the fire so he wouldn't have to touch it to do his work. Then I hurried to the kitchen to put away what was left of the party.

Jellybean followed me and I let him out for his last break before bed. He didn't want to go at first. I can't say I blame him. It was cold and snowy.

"Go on fancy dog," I laughed, and he finally ducked his head and went outside, his tags jangling in the night.

Jack was right — he had put most of the food away. I took care of the rest and surveyed the kitchen with satisfaction. Then I let Jellybean back in and headed upstairs. Giddy anticipation filled me and I wanted to bounce with excitement. It was like the feeling I got when I was a little kid on Christmas eve, except this time I was excited for what I was giving someone else. I loved this feeling. I got it with my girls too. Every holiday and occasion was new again because I experienced it both from the other side and also through their eyes.

And now I got to have it with Jack too. Every holiday, every occasion, and every anniversary that rolled around I would marvel that I was with him. We'd make it special together.

By the time I made it back upstairs Jack was ready for bed and in his pyjamas. They fit him perfectly and he looked so manly yet — adorable, I couldn't help but smile.

Jack looked down at himself and gave me a sheepish grin.

"Jammies," he said, the sweet word contrasting with his deep soft voice. A thrill ran through me. I swear he got sexier every day.

He kissed me and I headed into the bathroom to do my night-time routine. He banged around a little in the bedroom before he went downstairs. I brushed my teeth and wondered if he was doing the same thing I had. Just like him, I wouldn't peek. Imagination was often more fun than reality, and anticipation was always at least as much fun as the event.

But I didn't think Jack had any idea what I had in store for him. My heart skipped a beat and I tried to wipe the gleeful smile off my face so he wouldn't think I was deranged or something.

I was just climbing into bed when Jack and Jellybean came up, finished with their chores. Jack's cheeks were flushed and he had a mischievous smile on his face.

"You look pleased with yourself," I observed, enjoying watching him try to reclaim his own poker face.

Jack leaned over and petted Jellybean one last time before bed. His teeth flashed white as he twisted his smile into submission. Jellybean trotted onto his own bed, curled up, and put his head down. Delight buzzed through me. I was so excited about…well…everything.

"Come're," I said, patting the bed.

Jack pulled off his pyjama top, revealing his broad chest, his beautiful tattoos, and his carved abs. Then I could see just how low slung his pyjama pants were. My mouth watered as I took in the sight of him. He noticed me looking and smiled.

"Too hot to sleep with a shirt," he said.

"Poor me," I drawled, and slid up next to him as he settled into bed. He put his arm around me and I ran my hands up and down his burly smooth chest. He was warm — so warm — and I cuddled up like a cat next to a radiator.

Jack pulled another blanket over me and held me close.

"Tonight worked out great," he said. I knew he was talking about so many things. My parents, all our friends and family visiting and having a good time, the food was delicious and we had enough of it, the girls liked their gifts, our pyjamas fit, the weather was Christmasy…the list went on and on.

I sighed a happy sigh, thinking about all the ways everything was perfect. And tomorrow would, hopefully, be even more perfect.

The morning came early with Jellybean's nose in my face, his tail thumping on the dresser. He knew better than to lick me, but his whiskers tickled my cheek and his breathing woke me with a start. He smiled at me the way golden retrievers do, and his tail sped up. Thump. Thump.

Thump. Thump.

"Do you need to go out?" Jack said from behind me.

I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head. That was a rhetorical question. Jellybean was a morning person.

Jack was a morning person.

I was not a morning person.

Jack unburied a portion of my face and leaned down to kiss me. He got a section of my temple next to my hairline. I smiled to myself inside the covers in spite of my grouchiness.

Then Jack climbed out of bed and took Jellybean downstairs. I snuggled into the bed, making the most of them both being gone. All the more reason to sleep in.

Besides, it was cold outside. I heard Jack downstairs say, "Go on!" to Jellybean, who probably didn't want to go outside once he realized how cold it was.

I drifted off to sleep while listening to Jack go about the sounds of morning, including the whirr of coffee beans in the grinder. Mmm…coffee. Jack would bring me some, and until then I could sleep just a little longer… I drifted off into a dream, floating on the clouds of the perfection of sleeping in on a day off. It wasn't a weekend, but for some reason I still got to sleep in… My eyes flew open. It was Christmas morning! Jack wouldn't have gone through his stocking without me there, right?

I blinked and shook my head. No way would he do that.

Did I have time for a shower? Should I take one? Should I leave my Christmas pyjamas on? Why hadn't I thought through the exact logistics of today?

I sat up, and just then Jack walked in with a tray of food and a mug of coffee for me. "Hey, you're up!"

"As up as I can be first thing in the morning," I said, watching Jack closely. He had a big smug Cheshire Cat smile on his face.

I wanted to ask him what he was up to, but maybe I was just projecting.

"Did you already eat?" I said, forlornly looking at all my food and wondering if I was going to eat alone.

"Of course not," Jack laughed. "I just have to make several trips."

He arrived a few minutes later with another tray of food, and settled into bed with me. We ate in semi-awkward silence while my mind raced with possibilities for the day.

"Did you know it's Christmas?" I said to him in a conversational tone, like we were strangers discussing the weather.

"Oh really?" Jack's eyes crinkled with amusement. "I heard something about that," he said, and took another bite of eggs. After he swallowed he said, "I guess I should have gotten you something."

I laughed into my coffee, trying not to burn myself while also getting it inside my bloodstream as fast as possible.

"I built a fire downstairs," Jack said, as if he had said, "I replaced the furnace filter."

The guy was playing it really cool. Maybe he knew what I was up to?

"Maybe we should go enjoy it after breakfast and see if Santa came," I said, batting my eyes innocently in response to Jack's amused face.

"I know for a fact Santa didn't come last night, but I'm hoping for this afternoon," Jack said, looking me over intently. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to make me blush.

Two could play at this game.

"Good idea. We should go down and see if there's anything bulging just for you," I said. I held my breath, trying not to laugh at the over-the-top innuendo, but Jack cracked first, his laughter shaking the bed so much I had to hold our breakfast trays steady so they didn't tip over.

He didn't stop laughing, and then I lost it. Could I have come up with a more crazy innuendo? I couldn't think of one.

Good thing Jack likes me.


	10. perfect

The fire crackled in the living room, setting the perfect Christmas morning scene. Jack and I each unhooked the stockings we filled for each other and settled on the couch.

"I guess we should actually switch," I said, my heart pounding with anticipation. Christmas morning was always exciting, and this was my first Christmas with Jack.

Jack looked down at my stocking in his big carpenter hands. "Good idea, unless you filled my stocking with things for you?"

"Like giving you things that I love, and you hate, so I can have them?" I laughed, staring down at the stocking I'd filled for Jack.

"You wouldn't do that," Jack said. He held his hand out for his sock. "Let's do this."

I handed him his _bulging_ stocking (and laughed to myself as I thought it) and took mine from him. "How do you want to do this?" I said. "Because my sister and I would see who could hold out the longest without opening their socks."

Jack blinked at me. "Are you serious? Like you competed to see who could go the longest without opening gifts?"

"I think it started with my parents. They would hold off until that afternoon, or night. Or the next day. Or even the next!"

Jack frowned at me like he was questioning his entire relationship with me.

I pushed forward. "I think they did it because it drove me and my sister crazy, so then later we started doing it too."

Jack shook his head. "Is that what you want to do?"

"No!" I said. Then I realized how forceful my reaction had been. Jack looked puzzled so I added more gently, "No, of course not. We have this time to ourselves, so this is the perfect time to open gifts uninterrupted and unobserved."

We both looked over to the hearth where Jellybean lay, looking at us with one eye open. As soon as he realized we were looking at him he opened his other eye and thumped his tail.

"Mostly unobserved," Jack laughed, and shook his head.

"What if we each pull out an object and take turns?" I said. "If it gets uneven, one of us will wait it out until we are even at the end."

"Perfect idea," Jack said. He reaching inside and pulled out a Sweet Storybook.

"Hey, it's not Christmas without these!" he exclaimed.

I reached into my stocking and pulled out the same. "I agree. Countdown to the girls wanting to turn them into necklaces."

Jack laughed, his deep chuckle rolling through the room.

He reached inside his stocking again and this time pulled out a wrapped gift. He looked at me in dismay. "Were we supposed to wrap everything?"

I gave him an imperious look. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Santa fills the stockings."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well Santa's methods vary wildly from recipient to recipient then."

"Of course they do. That's how he keeps everyone guessing," I said, completely sure of my facts. "Open it!"

Jack tore off the paper. "Earbuds and a new charger! Thanks Santa! Now you go."

I reached into my stocking and pulled out more razor blades for my razor.

"Hey, I needed more of these." I felt warm all over, knowing that Jack noticed even the little things like me being low on razor refills.

"You're welcome. Should we do the next ones at the same time?" He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Yes! Let's be wild and crazy," I joked. I reached into my sock and waited for him to do the same. He pulled out a tube of his favourite shaving cream, and I pulled out earbuds.

This was so fun, and kind of silly.

"Again!" I said, getting into the hedonistic pleasure of it all. This time we both pulled out DVDs. I looked at the title and blinked at Jack, momentarily speechless. Jack looked down at his movie and then over at mine and laughed. "I gave you my favourite Christmas movies."

I turned the movie over, and then looked at the front again. "Die Hard is your favourite Christmas movie?"

Jack gave me a mischievous grin. "Yep. It counts. It takes place at Christmas."

I raised my eyebrows. "I had no idea. I've never seen it."

Jack tipped his head back and looked at the ceiling for a moment, and then back at me, like he had to physically react to this heresy. "You told me that, and I still can't believe it!"

"Now we can fix it!" I said, thinking about how we could cuddle up and watch it together. Happiness just kept spreading inside me. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, I'd get another pulse of it. I looked over at his movie. "That's one of my favourites too."

He looked at the cover and grinned. "Elf," he read. "I've seen it, but it's been a long time. I remember liking it."

"It's great," I said. "You'll love it." I felt inside my stocking and sure enough, there was another movie.

"I gave you two movies too," I confessed.

"Ohh," Jack said and reached inside his stocking again.

He pulled out "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and furrowed his brow. "I thought this was a Halloween movie?"

"It's both," I said. "Remember? It is about both holidays?"

"Maybe?" Jack said, frowning into his memories.

"It's so fun that you don't remember — the whole thing will be fresh when you watch it."

Jack chuckled and looked at the back of the movie case.

"True," he said. "We have a lot of movie nights ahead of us."

"We have a lot of everything ahead of us," I said. My cheeks got hot at the bare emotions I felt, but I meant everything I said.

"Yes we do," Jack said. "Okay, let's see your last movie."

He leaned over, and seemed to be full of anticipation. I kind of wanted to guess, but I didn't want to spoil the fun.

I mean, what if I guessed? No, the surprise was better.

"Bad Santa"? I said. It looked like one of those movies I never wanted to watch in a million years.

Jack turned a little pink himself, which just made me want to throw everything on the ground and crawl onto his lap. I resisted, and let him explain. "It's so over the top and bad in a good way. You know how some movies are like so fake Christmas cheer that they make you kind of hate the holidays?"

I thought back trying to remember some of the Christmas movies like that I'd seen in my life, but weirdly all the bad ones were so forgettable — I couldn't remember them.

But I remembered that annoyed feeling I'd get. "Yeah, kind of," I said. I stared at the scruffy actor playing Santa on the cover.

"This movie turns that on its head," Jack said. "It's not for everyone, and no way should we leave this out where the girls can watch it. But, it's full of dark humor, and taps into that grinchy feeling we can get every year, and validates it."

"So it will turn us into grinches?" I loved this side of Jack — I loved hearing his take on Christmas movies, and seeing what he really liked.

"Actually, that's the funny part," Jack said. "It's this black comedy, but it's actually sweet at the core."

I looked at the movie in wonder. "Let's watch this tonight!"

I said. "I can't wait to see Christmas done dark."

Jack's face exploded into a beaming smile. "All right! I don't want to talk it up too much, because you know how that ruins things. It's not perfect or anything, but it's really fun when you're worn out from all the Christmas-ing."

I had energy for a _little_ more Christmas-ing, and I hope Jack did too. We both reached into our stocking again and pulled out oranges.

"Usually the orange goes in the toe," I said. My heart pounded as I watched Jack reach into his stocking again.

"You too," Jack said. He waited until I reached all the way in. There was some kind of gift — I pulled it out.

"Hey, you did wrap something," I said. It looked great too.

It was wrapped in black paper and had a silver ribbon on it. Or — someone had. "Did you wrap this?"

Jack looked pleased with himself. "I had it done, which counts. So, yes."

I chuckled, my heart up inside my throat.

"You too," I said, nodding at his stocking. My heart pounded harder.

Jack pulled out my last gift, a little box about the size of a mint tin.

"I wrapped it myself," I said. I'd used painters paper and black ribbon. It seemed the most fitting for Jack.

"How should we do this?" Jack said. He scooted closer to me and we both held our wrapped gifts on our laps.

"Do you want to go at the same time?" I said. My nerves were getting the better of me. "Or maybe — how about you go first? I scooted right up next to him and leaned against his large frame as he slowly opened the little gift.

"Did you give me mints?" Jack said, picking at the little pieces of tape holding the paper closed. "Is this a hint?"

"Ha," I said. "You'll have to open it and see. Though mints are pretty awesome. I should have thought of that."

Jack finished opening the package, and held a little black tin in his hand. He gave me a puzzled look. I nodded and said nothing. He lifted the little lid to reveal a black ring.

"It's a ring!" he said. He frowned, and I knew what he was thinking. He's a carpenter. He can't wear rings — he might lose a finger.

"It's silicone," I said. It even has grooves on the inside so your finger won't sweat under it. If it gets caught on something, under a certain amount of pressure it will break. So it can stand up to normal life, but in a bad situation, you can get free."

"Oh wow," he said, and gently touched the ring, still in the box.

"May I?" I said, and reached for it.

Jack pulled the box away from me. "Actually, uh, I need you to open your gift first."

"But…" I felt like I was somehow bungling the moment, but I didn't know what I was doing or how to fix it. Jack looked completely serious. "Okay, but…" I started to say.

Jack put his arm around me and leaned down and kissed me. "Please?" he said, his head leaning against mine.

I can never resist that. I picked at the expertly wrapped gift. Who did this wrapping job? Where would he go to have something like this wrapped? What could it be? Oh my god. Realization swept through me and my mouth went dry. I didn't know if I should laugh or be upset.

"Are you okay?" Jack said, snuggling into me as he spoke.

"Yeah," I said. My fingers shook as I pulled the paper off the package. It was a ring box. I looked up at Jack and his blue eyes crinkled around the edges and he smiled at me, his gentle sweet smile.

"Open it," he said, his fingers stroking my shoulder.

I cracked the box and my jaw dropped. Inside sat a shining white gold ring. The edges were smooth, a comfort fit. It was simple yet elegant. Perfect.

"I think we both had the same idea," Jack chuckled, looking at his own ring still sitting in the little black tin.

My face felt hot and I didn't know what to say. I should have planned this better. I figured I'd wing it but this had thrown me for a loop.

"Ianto," Jack said, his voice quiet and soft. I dragged my eyes back to his. "Will you marry me?"

I gazed into his eyes, feeling happy inside our connection.

"Yes," I whispered. Then I remembered I was supposed to ask that question too. I'd been so caught up in the moment I'd lost my brain. "Um, does that mean you'll marry me?"

Jack chuckled and kissed me once, his lips just barely brushing mine, and then pulled back to look at me again.

"Yes. Yes, I will."

I reached for the little black tin I'd given him. "May I?"

Jack handed over the box and he patiently watched as I pulled the ring out and slid it on his large calloused finger.

"Perfect fit," he marveled. He made a fist and then opened his hand, moving his fingers in and out.

"I did my homework," I said, pleased that Jack could wear a ring without risking injury.

Jack reached for the box he'd given me and pulled the elegant shining ring off the little holder. He took my hand in his and gently slid the ring down over my knuckle. The ring settled on my finger like it was made to be there.

"So we can wear our rings now?" I said, wondering if there were rules about that kind of thing. "We don't have to wait?"

"We can do whatever we want. I'm wearing mine! It was my Christmas present and my fiancée gave it to me," Jack said.

A thrill ran through me when Jack said _fiancée_.

"Oh my god, we're engaged!" I said, admiring my ring on my fingers. It shone in the twinkling and crackling low light of the Christmas night room.

"We are!" Jack said. He pulled me close and kissed me again, this time without holding back. The chemistry between us blazed up in an instant, and the familiar thrilling fire ran through me. How could this be even hotter just because we were engaged?

But it was.

And if experience taught me anything, I knew it was just going to get better and better. We had our whole future before us, our families behind us, and best of all, we had each other.

"Summer wedding?" I said, already thinking about the possibilities.

Jack nuzzled my neck. "Jellybean can be the ring bearer."

I laughed, it was so adorable and perfect. I looked over at Jellybean who had stretched himself out as far as he could to gain maximum surface area to the heat of the fire. His stomach rose and fell as he snoozed in contentment.

"The girls can walk us down the aisle," I said. "Just imagine it!" Visions of Eve and Jenny dressed in wedding finery on each of our arms danced in my head.

"Perfect," Jack said, and gathered me up in his arms.

And then, we celebrated our engagement and Christmas until the fire burned all the way down. Afterwards, Jack took me by the hand and led me upstairs, Jellybean following close behind. We curled up in bed together, both marveling at the novelty of the feel of the rings on our fingers, and laughing that we both had the same idea.

We had a lot of people to tell, a lot of planning to do, and a lot of excitement ahead of us. For that moment though, it was just us, our bed, our dog now curled up with our inky black cat, and the softly falling snow outside.

Just before we drifted off for our long winters' nap, I nestled into Jack's enormous warm chest.

"Merry Christmas," I said.

Jack squeezed me a little closer and leaned down to give me one more good-night kiss. "Merry Christmas to you too," he said. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered. I didn't want the moment to end, but suddenly I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. But I knew I could let go and fall asleep because this Christmas was just the first of all the rest of them.

And if experience taught me anything, they would just get better and better.

Tomorrow I could start planning a wedding. It occurred to me, just as sleep overtook me, that knowing Jack he probably already had the whole thing planned. I smiled to myself, and snuggled closer to his muscled heat. I loved my precise, organized, hunky carpenter. And now I was wearing his ring. And he was wearing mine.

What a perfect Christmas.

~FIN~


End file.
